Thank You SOOOOO much!!

Sometimes I feel like pulling my hair out.
Sometimes I want to cry like a baby when I feel weak and helpless.
Sometimes I literally wish to die.
Sometimes I am very ungrateful for everything I have even though my life is filled with things other people only wish to have.
Sometimes I want to live my life in a chaotic way and  obey no one.
Sometimes I want to be rebellious and do everything I am never supposed to do.



BUT then I stop and think, I contemplate. Who Am I?
Am I not a Muslim?
Am I not supposed to thank Allah for all He has blessed me with?
Am I not one of the followers of Prophet Muhammad(saw)?
Don't I have all the necessities of life?


All these simple yet big questions make me realize that being rebellious and living your life in chaos is just not worth it. Everything should be organized and planned and we should do things in a proper manner. For all the things I had, for all the things I have today and ALL the things and happiness which I pray Allah would grant me, I AM THANKFUL TO HIM FOR ALL THAT. ALHAMDULLILAH!

Its My Birthday

Today is 16th September, 2012, as we all know and I turned 17 today. At my place we never celebrate birthdays so it was just an ordinary day and there was nothing special about this day. My birthdays are never exciting, its just another ordinary day. 
Well, there is at least one plus point to this day, I turned 17 and that's it. I will never be able to go back and be young and silly and foolish and be as innocent and simple as I once used to be. Everything in the world is in a constant state of change and so now many things in my life will change, that I know very clearly. This year is going to be a very hard one. It will exhaust me beyond imagination but if I am at my best in this very important year of my life, then what I will get would be beyond expectation and  a cause of great happiness for me.

Worried like Hell!!!!!!! :(

My last year of O'levels has started and I am totally confused about what to do. Teachers are saying that getting good grades in Pakistan studies and Islamiyat is no big deal and only good grades in Mathematics , the three Sciences(i.e. is Biology, Chemistry and physics) and English language would bring you any good.
School is taking us nowhere except for giving huge piles of homework and tests to prepare for. After school you are so exhausted that you do not have the capability to do any type of work. You go to sleep and when you wake up you hardly have time to do anything.
Teaching in school is of such a level that I don't think that I would be able to pass without taking tuition or notes of other good teachers from my friends. We go to school only so that we have someone to recommend us and so that we have a reputation of belonging to a good institute, otherwise school has become a waste of time. You go there only to waste your energy and then you can do nothing just because you are so Goddamn tired.
Now I am totally confused about what to do, how to manage my time and cope with all the work. I have so much to study and the time available is miniscule. 
I just hope that everything turns out right and end up getting what I want. And I am prepared to work hard and achieve what I want to. 

 IM FREAKING OUT!!!!